Single handedly the worst sex I've ever had just went down. Its like we both laid there after word-less thinking about the other " could they be any worse in bed" ?
He is offering to pay me back by sending me a dick pic.
.......................................
My thoughts exactly.
Dude i thought about you literally the second after I came. This friendship is starting to cross some serious boundaries
Unless you consider jello shots food the answer is no there is no dinner here. When u get food get more wine too tired of you coming over drinking all my booze and destroying my vagina
Why do the people I hook up with still exist after we're done?
They left at like 4. I got up to help clean their house this morning and we found his pants. No ones heard from him, we're all a little scared.
I have a very important question for you: what are some good rules to have if we want to turn the nfl draft into a drinking game?
I'm dressed like a deranged cupcake. Let's get fucked up.
i finally decided to cut him off after he he looked me dead in the eyes and said "how have i been inside you for the past twenty minutes when my pants are still on?"
Lets play hurricane shelter. And the shelter is my bed, and we forgot our clothes.
I just handed a girl a slice of pizza and she handed me her number. Is this how Vegas hookups normally begin?
Thanks for coming over. I'm sorry everyone else was vomiting. Thank you for not vomiting. I love you.
My early Valentine's Day one night stand just took an uber home. Thank you, technology, for letting me enjoy this day in peace. 😍
i just watched a 27 minute video about owls...that high.
so I'm walking to my last final while opening my giant red bull and i look over to my right and the guy beside me had one too and was looking back at me. without missing a beat he pulls out a bottle of jager, pours half in mine, half in his and goes "cheers"....i'm not even mad i probably failed my final
Randomize
