you know you are hungover when... you set your alarm for the next time you think you are going to throw up
I just woke up in my car with half the wedding cake next to me. This will not end well.
My dad is complaining about how his computer keeps getting viruses. I don't have the heart to tell him he needs to stop downloading so much porn.
i told him im from Canada, abortion is free
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't think its a good idea if I moon a whole bar again
In attempts to Not be THAT GIRL in front of my new crush I will only drink a 12 pack instead of my normal case.
I love how all these freshman girls think that they can wear what they wore last summer... freshman 15 at its skankiest
Lost is over, my longest committed relationship is coming to an end.
She was giving you that "I really want to blow you but I have to act professional" look. Guaranteed
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude just read our convo. Apparently I was talking to you while I was naked. She wasn't happy about it.
I'm starting to second guess shaving my vagina over the kitchen sink. The lighting is so much better though.
Some chick asked if she could eat me because I'm dressed as a taco. I introduced her to RJ. Best Wingman.
But I aced my quizzes. Apparently flash card beer pong is an acceptable form of studying.
ANIME MEN ARE MAKING ME QUESTION MY SEXUALITY AGAIN
My sister and her gf showed up at my door with no pants on at 4 AM talking claiming its hot.
Randomize