Iced coffee. Banana. Two dumps. Life is good.
Everything that you guys said happened came back to me. like a tidal wave of regret.
Some guy stole lobsters by hiding them in his pants. We should strive to be like him.
I haven't had nearly enough lesbian experiences to fully commit to this relationship.
I'm making presurgery martini's. You need to be here.
And I'm not sure if that's how you pluralize penis. Never planned on needing to know that in my life.
Some random walked into our tent, woke her up and said "Harry Potter must not go back to Hogwarts!"
That last minute feeling of hesitation on whether I should bring my health card to the bar usually means I'm in for a good night.
I'm sensing a Yuletide blow job in your future and by future I mean tomorrow
OH FOR FUCKS SAKE! SOMEONE TOOK ME FOR A GODDAMN PROSTITUTE!! IM WEARING LEG WARMERS!!! THAT IS LIKE THE LEAST HOOKERISH THING TO WEAR!
Do you think blood ever gets sick of carrying all these drugs around?
Like, there are so many different things we make it do, and it just wants to settle down and be a one-drug fluid?
Stop reading WebMD high.
You guys wanna start around 10:30 tomorrow?
We can start at 5am for all I care. You ask like I have plans.
woke up in the back seat of my car with a naked chick and my brother tapping on the window. yup, what a night
You can't just drop that I might be walking into a foursome and leave it at that
If waffles and beer don't scream "fuck me!" then I don't know what else to do.
Randomize
