do you think they make "congratulations unfit mother" greeting cards?
or abortion recommendation cards.
you dialed the number "23" then talked to it for three minutes
She sucked her thumb until she was 17. It's like my dick was born to be in her mouth.
I know. I almost started crying. IN WHAT UNIVERSE IS THAT A TURN ON?!
Learned my lesson. Pink pantydroppers out of a beer bong=deceiving
I think 2012 will be the year I purposely put myself in awkward situations. Much like 2011 but really trying this time. Like fucking the little sister of a girl I already fucked and dating a chick that lives with her ex. It could be awesome or horrible.
This bowl of cereal would be the size of a giant's bowl-piece. It's. that. big.
How much did you smoke??
Sober now. I'm really glad I didn't try to make out with that guy who has a pregnant fiance
How do you tell an ex that banging less hot chicks than me is highly insulting? I almost want to try and get him laid with a pretty girl just to save some face for dating him so long.
Flatmate got laid for the first time in 3 years. I'm baking a cake.
YOU DESERVE A GUY WITH A NORMAL DICK DONT SETTLE FOR ANYTHING LESS
he threw his shirt and suit jacket out the window of the uber going home
Dude I had sex with her and she STILL thinks I'm gay. I don't know what else to do.
Interesting, I was always told to run away from crazy, but you seem to think we should run towards them dick first.
There are 6 of us in a mini cooper and his maid is in the trunk...she needed a ride.
Randomize
