Ok pretty sure I just saw Mike O'Malley walking through the parking lot. I wanted to see if I followed him, would he lead me to the acro-criag, i've always wanted a crack at that bitch.
Only now do I see "not intended for use on skin" warning. Wonderful. But hey, my dick smells like magic marker.
I need a hobby that doesnt involve alcohol and my tv
Is waterboarding an exceptable way of getting sober?
My uncrustable is thawing in my straightener
Anything that comes outta your cooch is bound to be breathtaking
That could use a little rephrasing
Can't. I took a Viagra to make sure I wouldnt leave the room so I might actually study.
If this party got busted it would be an improvement
We're in the kiddy pool eating marshmellows and drinking wine out of a box. Please dress casual.
I just asked her to come in through the window, this pretty much solidifies the whole fuck-buddy thing...
We smoked before the sunrise hike. I ended up eating a banana and singing Circle of Life as the sun rose over the horizon.
Denim handjobs are the worst handjobs. I hate all handjobs. Why do people even.
Having sex with him is like eating mayo. Don't think about it, just do it. It's worth it.
I need an honest answer, no judgements. Would it make me a bad person if I fucked the other twin?
One of the guys just came in and goes "i walked all the way home with a pumpkin". Night just got better.
Randomize
