wanna go halves on a baby?
I just walked into a tree. I think it's time to go home.
The fact that you think you peed off a roof shows you shouldn't have been on a roof.
I think all I remember saying is, "I love Chris Berman's voice" and then I passed out
CHAZ BONO WILL BE ON THE NEXT SEASON OF DANCING WITH THE STARS.
Internet Is back!
MY NEWS TRUMPS YOURS.
I think I'm still drunk and I think you were in my dream (sadly, it was not a sexual bill murray one).
Don't patronize me, I thought of that on peyote, so it was basically like a message from God.
Last night I went to spank her while she was riding me and sack-tapped myself.
haha all our friends are at the carnival and I'm on stage dry humping a 40 year old
walk of shamed to graduation. ending college with a bang....
Never let me go online shopping while drunk. I now own 2 baby cribs. I have no children
Bring me pizza. I'll trade you your underwear you left here for 2 slices.
Please just help me figure out where the bruise on my face came from.
I left the party 20 min ago..just thought i would tell you so you wouldnt think i fell in the lake again
Just cuz u chase vodka with sweet tea doesn't make it sweet tea vodka
Randomize
