You don't have to be emotionally available for a blow job.
we were so high we made up an elaborate backstory because we were paranoid about going into the wig shop w/o being serious wig shoppers
You'll be happy to know that I did indeed fracture my rib in a sex related injury
I asked her if she was the outdoorsy type, she replied "I had sex on a fourwheeler once, does that count?"
Idk yet. Trying to convince him to get a phoenix bird tattoo first
I'm buying you potatoes, the least you could do is not ask any fucking questions and just say thank you.
I had one glass of wine then passed out for 4 hours. It's like I'm having a quarter-life crisis.
They just dared her to tape flip flops to her tits. Entertainment value cannot be found like this in any other part of America.
But how do I turn off the feelings though?
Vodka.
You could be a whistle.. And just ask bitches if they want to blow you all night
He said I was doing well, so I stopped mid blow job to compliment his grammar. You could say I like intellectuals
So, just saw a lady hysterically sobbing in a Walmart at 3 AM. Someone's not having a happy mother's day.
Free stuff before I even put his balls in my mouth like wow great start
He smoked and I was tired so left before we did anything. I literally left him high and dry.
I learned three things this morning. Don't get out of my car without my keys, don't let a girl paint my nail unless I'm getting laid by said girl, and lastly I learned how to break into my own car.
Randomize
