Vanillla milkshakes are the new Gold Bond. Will explain later.
she is the female version of PC from the mac and pc commercials..i'll still hit tho
No. I was horrified and confused as to why you thought scrambled eggs and cottage cheese was a good mix
well since you're still married, you will be paying for my abortion right?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she said my body looked tiny like it was a bad thing and then didn't even mention how great my tits look. it's like we're not even friends.
im still going. this is my new reality. also. dont take glowsticks in the bath. they explode. actually. do. it. its beautiful.
i dont think thats healthy man...
I'm two sheets to the sexual wind
I just realized that in 3 weeks it becomes sad if I make everything into a drinking game. Fuck growing up
Also, making a white Russian with butterscotch schnapps instead of vodka is probably the best decision I've made in my entire college career.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He sent me a slow motion video of him jerking off...it was so long (the video not his dick) even I felt awkward watching it alone
Waking up early to fuck the hot DILF the day before Father's Day because I'm respectable like that
I accidentally told my mom I broke my drug nail this weekend
Drunk sperm are not productive sperm.
After returning from the hospital with lock-jaw from getting tackle at the game. Some naked chick busted out of his room and hit him with a devastating haymaker to the jaw because he wouldn't have sex
She’s the kind of asshole whose face I want to put on a T-shirt just so I can go outside and burn it.
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