batman just walked across the sidewalk
lay off the drugs
no for real he was wearing a cape
Glad I put on jeans. You could measure my ass sweat with a rain guage.
No matter how fun it seemed the night before you will always regret taking those pictures, you will always regret eating as much as you did, but you will never regret the great lengths you had to got to get those bruises.
Some kid in my class just puked in his backpack, zipped up the backpack, put the backpack on and walked out the door.
If I die on my trip, you're my chosen person. Nightstand-vibrators. Computer-iphoto naked pictures. I hope you feel honored.
Seeing a catheter being inserted into a penis severely diminished my sex life
Thanks for FaceTime'ing with that ugly chick last night while me and her friend were in the other room. it's good to know I can still count on my wingman even when we're 2000 miles apart
His penis will pick the quickest route to vagina. it's like an biological onstar.
She wants to have naked weekends
They call that free range vagina in France
This old guy just saw me toking on my bubbler before I go to the dentist. He gave me the nod.
I don't mean to ruin your favorite Disney movie...but...we both came when Mufasa died.
She said "oh yeah" like Hulk Hogan with the muscle flex and everything. Totally digging this chick
Oh if we have sex in public no one will frown upon it. They will stand and cheer for it
So a guy died and our dates revived him with CPR. Good night?
I hate drunk me more than anyone else in this world
Randomize
