I am not sure how to feel about the fact that I was turned on by someone with a penis. I can't believe Lady Gaga would do this to me. :(
They just yellow carded someone for spilling a drink because it was a party foul. Love germans.
Well my dea agent brother is visiting so I'm gonna get high and see if he notices
Pre-crushing the pills for tomorrow morning. This way I can sleep in an extra 10 minutes.
I am trapped in a bar with french tattooed drug dealers who also blow glass art. Just in case this is bad, know what happened.
somedays, I wish the drugs you give me would convince me they were a bad idea preingestion.
where's the fun in that?
we're stoned watching those roller coaster simulators w our hands up screaming on our couch
He told me I was 100% better then porn then passed out nto the cake
I woke up in a lawn chair by the lake to some man revving his boat motor at me.
Tequila is gods way of telling you don't fuck with tequila
Nope we are at the ER my brothers crazyass neighbor kinda stabbed him in the neck. He's gonna be fine.
He's only giving you free adderall so you can focus on his dick.
Is it just me or is Michael Jackson blasting throughout the house
YAS. BRING CRAB.
Dude, you need to come and get her. She's sitting on the bathroom floor making hearts with her menstrual blood. And remind me never to let her do jello shots again
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