3:40 am: you never wrote back on my facebook wall
Well my night just got interesting. I just home from the police station. Hope you had a fun night out!
just had an encounter with drunk people from out of state at dairy queen. they wanted to stay till march to see the high school play.
Her legal name is Candy. Her being a whore is implied.
totally just got a week extension on my midterm by telling my prof that I had just found out I was adopted
Apparently I was so drunk I threw my entire wallet at the stripper on stage. That was the third time I should've gotten kicked out.
This is amazing. I can pinpoint the window in time that you lost all sanity.
she asked me where ive been her entire life and the guy in the room next to us yelled "with other women bitch!"
I'm not really made for random hookups.. i'm like a swan.. i don't wanna have random swan sex. i just wanna have one swan hubby and fly around the world together and eat bread that people throw at us..
wow. there is a man who hates the post office more than me. he is causing a scene, this is a snapshot of elderly me.
I told the guy that if he didn't put enough pepperoni to earn the name " pepperoni feast", that I was gonna sue him for all he had. Believe it or not, that's all I remember.
He may not be fully over his current wife yet. But wait until I show him my tits in his office at the end of the day tonight.
Serious concern: will TSA confiscate my bondage rope?
I associate the Game of Thrones theme song with his dick now.
I pelvic thrusted so hard while he was eating me out that his nose started bleeding. I think it's broken. Trophy scars, right?
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