if you could put a roof over IU campus it would be the biggest whorehouse in the nation
What happened?....
He lifted up the blanket, and whispered "Don't do it" to his sperm....
Had a dream I was a monkey and smoked pot out of a bong made out of a tree
all you kept saying from the spare room was "can you bring me a puke bowl...and the cat"
you act like breakfast cereal isnt an entirely appropriate chaser
I'll make a Jello mold of your face so everyone can get drunk off your face
this is terrible I feel like i'm trapped in a cage with a wild republican
Instead of a hangover my body just feels like shame
That is a hangover
I would prefer a headache
ders ninda duuude pooring goden shots ov glory. I see em an i dont but there hear.
are you attempting voice recognition while drunk again?
There was blow residue on my chem book and my TA was like, did u stain your notebook with CaCO3?
I bet yours is gonna be filled with secret innuendo.
secret innuendo and cervical punches to the world.
It was just...long. I started around 2. And I think i went to bed around 2. So 12 straight hours? I remember a milkshake and frozen grapes.
He's coming over again? GIRL, you're thoroughly enjoying the month of Dicktember.
You'd think it'd be fun living next door to a guy whose neck you once licked. Surprise, it's not.
Like wanna sit on your face while you speak German hot
Randomize
