Its a bunch of hippies dancing in front of a stobe light. For ten dollars I could have gone to the strip club and at least had a lap dance
oh wait, my morality sensor is a little fucked up since I almost let my little sister's friend blow me.
Tim hortons said i dont meet their criteria. What the fuck criteria is that? You put bagels in an oven.
Banging your ex-girlfriends best friend 3 days after you break up is like saying "fuck you" with feeling. I wouldnt have it any other way.
I dont know how to say this. But the hottest girl where im at has one arm.
i have two emotions: emotionless and blind with rage
Thanks for takin my cousin out last night, sorry I passed out so early
You kidding, the kids a legend. He literally killed a bottle of Jamison, made out with a girl AND her Mom at the bar, stole us slices of pizza and told the cab driver where to go in Spanish. He doesn't even live in the area. Can we keep him?
Can I trade you chipotle for a pregnancy test?
tuscaloosa is terrifying
like people here are just empty shells of drugs and sin
there is no mercy here
I accidentally sent a snap of my puss with the Republican filter... Totally killed his boner
Found an elderly homeless guy with a Gandalf beard passed out on my porch. I put a Santa hat over his erect dick cause he was naked.
Do you think if I had a tempurpedic bed he would still be able to feel me fingering myself after we have sex?
I think my dick has healed enough that we can start having sex again
Last time I went to flagstaff I threw up in my beard. I would very much like to recreate that moment.
DO IT!
U dont jog and buy condoms n bulk
Randomize
