even my worst enemy doesn't deserve a bush like that
He said he wanted to see my room, not my womb. It's a common mistake.
Don't tell me wow. Tell me this is normal for college and in no way am I a whore.
I'm just over here all sober hanging with two high people talking about how they're "free-spirited stallions."
but we were going camping. it only made sense to bring the 6 ft bong
You're going to be mad because I got baked, but not that mad because I'm bringing home kfc.
Don't do shots out of Tostitos scoops.
I've started drunk signing up for 5ks. Who even does that?
I am the fucking FIFTH wheel. How do you think it's going?
Taking dicks and breaking hearts, no better life
Power lunch with dad, pain pills and tequila shots. Dad does Monday hard.
She was doing drunken zumba and screaming "FUCK YOU I HAVE MY OWN STYLE!" at the TV
Dude, you spit in your shirt pocket saying "I'm saving it for later" then dove head first into the pyramid of beer cans we set up.
I am high. And my mom surpised me today. Now i am high and with my mom....bad idea
Clearly the Stanley Cup Finals good luck hand job IS necessary. You let the whole team down.
Randomize
