There was an extended period of my adolescent life where my friends and I would get high, drive around in my minivan listening exclusively to the wu tang clan, and intentionally crash into snowbanks
Let's just say there's a reason that "suede" rhymes with "laid".
We ran out of things to say while we were playing Never Have I Ever so we started playing I Have Done This... Have You?
No, "because my penis told me to" is not an acceptable answer to that question
My face is tingly. And my legs are being massaged by golden elves.
You kept yelling "wood grain wheel" and grinding on fat chicks.
The hell is wrong with me
Don't you realize there's more to life than sex and pizza rolls?
I'm not entirely sure what happened last night, but I think I dislocated my kneecap during an epic Mario Kart battle...
The cleaning lady has a form she makes me sign every time she finds me passed out in my office so she can keep track of how much to charge me each month for keeping quiet about it.
I guess I look like the kind of girl who would buy edible, weed-infused lube.
I am not a slut. I'm just very open with how much I love to have sex. Stop judging.
St. Patrick's day can kiss my ass. Still hungover. I guess I showed up at my gym blacked out yesterday morning. Like im not missing a gym day b
It's like all the guys I keep around if I wanna have sex with all got mad at the same time. I guess I'll get out my vibrator again.
just call my name and ill be there, if we are puking, beating up bitches, or pickin up men, OR avoiding wierd men, so many situations require a wingman
When you wake up and wonder why your bleeding and it feels like you jumped into a ceiling fan, dont worry. Ill explain it all when I wake up.
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