Should I be offended if he asked if he could use saran wrap to eat me out?
And then he said "I can't get blown while Gordon Bombay and Mr. Holland stare at me from the TV"
you were licking his little sister's watercolors and trying to paint with your tongue.
Apparently I walked up to him, mumbled something incoherently, then started to make out with him. Why does this always happen.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I obviously couldn't but this on your fbook wall. I would get judge. I would willingly get tbagged by him. You can quote me on that.
You told me you aren't worried about the police that you've been training for this an that the last three months of your life have been devoted to building up your stun gun tolerance and pepper spray recovery time.
This guy smelled his armpits before trying to approach me at the bar
Christopher Columbus didn't sail the ocean blue so I would have to go to class and not have sex with my boyfriend
Can't feel body but making pizza rolls
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You have the most beautiful penis I've ever seen. I never thought penises were meant to be beautiful, but you proved me wrong
And if you haven't kicked a pigeon you haven't started your morning right
I JUST SENT A TOILET SELFIE TO THE WRONG PERSON.
Like he was trying to be sexy but he had shit taste in porn so i left
God damn. You sleep with one 40 year old married dude and suddenly you have “daddy issues”. Fuck all of you.
he took a fucking pitcher of koolaid and vodka to the bath with him... i wake up from my blackout to his roomate screaming cause he spilled it and passed out in the middle of a blood red tub. she thought he killed himself. jesus christ its only the first day of break and i already regret coming home
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