i miss you and i wish you were peeing between my legs right now. in a platonic way
Im so sleepy and hes snoring super loud! i just wanna suffocate him, sleep, and deal with the body when I wake up
Don't threaten to terrorize my ass hole unless you have to wherewithal to back it up
I took chris brown's side in the conversation ... cut to me not getting laid tonight
So I went outside my house this morning and basically my entire front lawn is covered in gummi bears... I think that involves you guys.
im so sorry the vomit froze your passenger door shut... you should have stopped.
Walt I've been the third wheel taking shotssssssssssssssssolo. Each s is for each solo shot.
All i want to do is drink fuck and cry... you dont have to cater all three its more like the saddest choose your own adventure ever
One huge ass giant mistake followed by celebatory shots and coors lights thats my day in a nut shell
I'm at work. It's margarita night. Someone literally just shouted "MURICUH!"
God bless us, everyone.
I dnt think she needs convincing on the threesome part, it's the threesome with your roommate situation that needs some work
Abort mission; I repeat: Abort mission.I found an attractive one.
I can't open my mouth wide enough to make full use of this snapchate update
You woke up, looked straight at me and screamed "fuck barbara streisand!" and passed out again
She was blowing air into green onions and tying knots in them to make "balloons"
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