i just want to meat her and do terribly wonderful things to her vagina...
Deffinety need to stop having sex on the beach just took a dump and it was mostly sand
There are the 2 BIGGEST tools by me-- at our table. I hate them. But they're not ugly and I may make out with them later. And hate myself. Definitely hate myself.
It was unlikely that the relationship was going to end with anything other than antibiotics.
New plan: we get a little bit drunk and go to 24 hour fitness and be eachothers wing people so we can hit on in shape hot people at a gym instead of drunk idiots at a bar.
You were yelling at the cops across the street saying they were at the wrong party
I just realized that two weekends in a row we ended up in a bathroom with two different boys asking us for a threesome. does this happen to everyone?
I just had some guy offer to eat me out on my lunch break... I think single life is getting better everyday
I'd love to sympathize with you but I'm drunk in a mansion
He made me this shot called the allergen. It was a shot of vodka with a Claritin dropped in it.
maybe these stereotypes wouldn't come up if you would stop taking body shots off another
My dad picked me up from the bus station and as soon as he saw me he yelled "bus backwards is SUB!" and started laughing, I'm like 800% sure he's stoned. I'm so happy I came home for spring break.
can we for just one second remember that I played with a homeless man's rat at st marks?
With a word you would own me. At your command I would walk to your house completely naked.
Happy 20th birthday! I hope you like anxiety and having your debit card declined at McDonald's!
Randomize
