So how Liz Lemon is this? I bring a boy home, we get in bed, and I realize there's a lean pocket wrapper in the sheets.
Remeber, hes got nothing better to offer you than drunk words and hairy balls.
I think i blacked out...but i remember licking your teeth
don't worry i just saved a song to my personal usb drive to give to the dj at the bar. he's playing old school jlo whether he likes it or not.
I WANT MY VAGINA TO POUND AT NICE THINGS.
Dude. You stood in a corner laughing your ass off while folding clothes, facing the wall. Yes, they were weed brownies..
I made friends with the delivery guy because he had beautiful dread locks and was a Zelda fan. He texted me after he left saying he wasn't trying to be creepy but we should be friends. We're hanging out tomorrow.
How does this kind of shit happen to you?!
Come to the roof. We are drinking breakfast.
Obviously. I'm here to let you eat things off my boobs and help you get laid.
He said he could outsmoke me so I challenged him to a weed duel. I don't always very competitive but when I do...
She touched my penis and started laughing. She did the same thing when she blew me.
if you arent using your penis to save lives, then what good is it?
I said he looked like a lumberjack and that's when he came. I guess he liked the beard compliment?
Well I'm sorry I assumed you were a human and that humans have the capability to forget sometimes.
Certain restrictions may apply. Common side effects of sex with me include unbridled joy, a healthy glow, soreness and the inability to walk for short to long amounts of time. If any of these side effects occur please consult your physician, so he/she can prescribe me a "high-five".
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