Making out with married ex girlfriends: priceless
I lined up everyone's pillows and I'm playing Evel Knievel when I jerk off later.
How bad was it?
You ran around telling everyone that you were going to click them to death on google earth
dream priorities were more important than voting today. don't tell me you wouldn't keep going back to sleep to find out who would win a fight between oprah and godzilla
Dorm room. In. Elevator. Fell in. Boom. Puke
Do you think it'd be inappropriate to have an I'm Not Keeping My Baby Party the day after her baby shower?
Watch out, there's a giant vagina in the quad running around screaming at people.
I am too high to deal with coming home to 11 naked people in my living room
I just drove by a stop sign that had a used maxi pad stuck to it WHAT THE FUCK
He's been watching the World Cup too much because right before he came he screamed "NUT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!" for half a minute. Our landlord is not happy.
That was the second worst thing to happen to my asshole.
I was so high. I had so much hair. It was like all my hair follicles exploded.
Well I just took a pregnancy test... So how's your thanksgiving?
Hey can you explain why there's a dissected coconut in my purse????
its a comptetion of fuckups and im HERE TO WIN
Randomize
