just caught grandpa beating off in the living room
I wish I could drop acid with the muppets
don't read that magazine bro. I came in it
Just heard a guy discussing with someone else the amazing blow job you gave him. I’m in New York. Over 2 hours away from where you live. I have never been more proud.
He sat on a barstool and did the robot for 3 hours - I'm pretty sure he enjoyed himself.
So from the residue on my balls I think it was mashed potatoes she had in her mouth
you know...the drug dealer i named my baby after.
well I woke up with about $3 in odd change and a note that said "I'm borrowing your weed." So, no, it didn't go to well.
So, seriously. How does it feel to know that you're riding a cock that was in kindergarten when you were going to prom?
He threw a twenty at the stripper and asked for change
well did he get it
....yes
I think it's safe to assume that dad heard you lose your lesbian virginity last night
I'll say this one last time. You are TWENTY FIVE YEARS OLD. You are not going to die alone and this is not the twilight of your life. Stop taking shrooms on your period!!!!
Broken leg sex is fun because I just get to lay there
I got paid to fuck my boss for lunch. My job is better than yours.
Hot or not, she’s from Boston. It’s hard to nut when she sounds like Mark Wahlberg
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