I'm gonna start referring to my vag as my ladygarden
Apparently every Tri-Delt knows what I did and I am blacklisted from ever dating anyone in that house.
Well ya you lied, told her you cared, took her virginity and then broke up with her at Christies Toy Box.
I honestly thought the dildo was a nice parting gift.
Last nIght I drank wIth the new guy from fellowshIp & my pastor I've known sInce I was 7. It was agreed by them that I had nIce tIts. I'm not weIrded out In fact I'm flattered...
His facebook status is an owl city song. I'm so glad i didn't end up fucking him.
New York to be Host to America’s Biggest Singles Event
Just watched a UNI fan at the bar lick the tears off of a KU fans face.. See what march madness does to people
My chemistry professor just asked me if I ever found a ride home from the bar last Saturday
Fine then. I'll just do all this coke on my own this weekend and die. It'll be strictly your fault.
MEET ME OUTSIDE YOUR HOUSE IN THREE MINUTES. BE DRUNK. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
Ok now a guy in a winnie the pooh costume is grinding on some chick to the song shots
Kylie Jenner Wasn’t in the Kardashian X-Mas Cards & the Internet is Losing it
Sometimes I envy you, when I'm not praying for your soul.
drunk in woodshop so don't even say "I SAWWW THIS COMING." I know you're thinking it.
I ran into the kitchen halfway through hooking up cause I forgot I put the cookies on the oven too high. Came back and she was gone but the only thing I could think about was all the extra cookies I could eat now. Got through about 6 before I realized why she left.
I was hooking up with this girl last night and she's on top of me with "Flux Pavilion - I can't stop" grinding in the background and I thought "Holy shit I'm going to do a lot of Molly this semester."
Plus he stuck it in when you were sleeping which would have been the tipping point for me but you art school kids are all liberal and shit
but you were the sluttiest panda there and you need to embrace it