I can't get away from Pickles they're either stuck in me, in my mouth, or I'm stuck in one. fuck my whole entire life.
The camp director doesn't care if we drink and i'm running the rifle range. Someone is going to get sued.
We found him pissing on the sidewalk in his socks signing the national anthem. I love you summer.
You told him you were auditioning guys for your new show: "So You Think You Can Fuck."
Best pick-up line ever!
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Apparently there was a point in the night that they literally thought he was dead, ass naked on the floor. That bad.
I cant be sure, but i think ive been drunk in this church before.
The kind of drunk where you put two tampons in thinking that it'll last me longer ...
she said she wouldn't go home with me until she looked up my name in her sex offender app. do i really give off that vibe?
Yeah. It's not just the beard either.
I took a dab in Denver and was I. Rocky Mountain national park almost to Wyoming before I realized I missed my turn.
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Does going to a local bar count as taking part in Small Business Saturday? Asking for a friend
We were so amazed while watching mission impossible ghost protocol last night we didn't even have sex
never have sex with a mint flavored condom on. my vagina is on fire.
uh why is my bathtub filled with kool aid? or is that blood?
I got confused. The music was loud, porn was playing, people were grinding, there were hand jobs.
Its one of those days... someone might die
Would a picture of my dick help?
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