Is that you in the white hat?
Fine suit yourself
hey is it cool if i invite some fat girls to the party so i can be the skinny one?
yeah okay. but if i take one home with me you have to come over in the morning and tell her to get her shit and go.
he said my vag tasted like ravioli n pennies... i forgot I was on my period
He sent me a video of himself jacking off. I am not kidding.
WTF??? Isn't he married??
Yeah but his wife is at a birthday party and I guess he's bored. LOL
Now we are really drunk and her 17 yr old cousin is shitfaced. He may or may not have proposed a toast to octopuses and double fisting. And we just drank to Mexico.
The dean held back my hair as I was puking after graduation. That means so much more than a diploma and a handshake.
We decided to go to McDs, but we only had a few minutes to make it to breakfast. We were sprinting full speed ahead when she tripped and you just yelled 'LEAVE HER' and kept your course.
Fingerblasting some girl on the deck tryna get her to fuck on a lifeboat
We had sex twice and at Wendy's how dare you diminish that.
I DID MY EXPERIMENTING. FOUR YEARS OF IT. IN HIGH SCHOOL.
My potted cactus died. I am literally less nurturing than the desert.
I am literally so hung over that I just opened up my emergency kit, got out a survival meal replacement bar and ate it.
You asked me how red your eyes were... they were shut.
It's to the point where if a guy can so much as find my clit, I'll consider him amazing in bed
In order to get rid of my bladder infections I must give up caffeine, nicotine and tight pants. It's like my pussy is an angry dictator or something
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