her vagina looked like bernie madoff
Drunk lesbians having an argument about their realationship isn't as hot as I imagined.....
I need a hobby that doesnt involve alcohol and my tv
FUCK YOU CALIFORNIA. YOU DO NOTHING RIGHT. FIRST PROP 8 AND NOW THIS.
People Are Arguing Over This Guy’s Petty Reaction To Splitting Lunch With His Co-Worker
I wouldn't blow him for all the queso in the world.
I'd rather blow that homeless guy who asked me to breast feed him.
I let him do a line off my nipple in exchange for his prescription pain pills. I feel like 3/4 Vegas stripper, 1/4 underbelly of society.
You screamed 'no, YOU put some pants on' at a cop. I pretended not to know you.
I tried to high-five the cop last night. he just looked at my raised hand and told me to go to bed.
Is it weird that the girl he dated after me had a child with him and it has my name? I think it means he's not over me. Or I'm really self absorbed...
Girl Logs Into Twitter Only To Find Out Her Dad Is Trending For The Most Outrageous Reason
AFTER I licked the bald guys head they told me we weren't playing
Remember that time you puked in a beer pong cup while someone else was playing?
And I'm only telling you that because I really wanted to use 'my boyfriend' and 'dick biscuit' in the same sentence.
MESSY REBOUND SEX HERE I COME! Time to start stretching to fit in my back seat again ...
Between his smile and monumental dick even the virgin mary woulda blown that man and I am far from the virgin. I didn't stand a chance.
have you ever tried to puke in an automatic flushing toilet? impossible