did you know delaware is a STATE? HOLY CRAP! i didn't till i was hitting on this chick and asked her when she said she was from delaware, which state that was in. crazyness
I was actually high enough at that point that I was just casually following your glowing footsteps like in Avatar while we ran from the cops.
Sun* burn. But that sounds like wait.. Midsentence thought... It would be like swimming in a giant bowl of cereal.. Only I would be cereal. This is brilliant.
I'd rather just be alone, than deal with this bullshit. I just want to be alone. Cats and vibrators never let you down.
I have no idea how I got home or why I am naked but I assume I owe you a thank you...
I will be naked everywhere
dude when im high using logic is an accomplishment that should be rewarded. make sure u get cinnamon twists
well he somehow got his hand stuck in some bike spokes trying to reach for a blunt he dropped and that's NOT the reason he's in the hospital...?
The guys in the quick check just recognized me as the girl who bought rolling papers and whipped cream. This is the walk of shame on crack.
Well I woke up naked, with a santa hat on, and a bag of beef jerky next to me. So yeah, I would say it was a pretty successful trolley
I'll miss you, too. On the bright side, a night away from one another might give me a chance to recup seminal fluids.
I'll be perfectly honest; there are times other guys have consented to have sex with me because of my punctuation.
Remember that pair of super cute shorts I pooped in? I miss those 😔
I love how when he said ecstasy pills both of our heads whipped around like a couple of horned owls.
Psssh like you wouldn't lick BBQ sauce off my nipples.
Randomize
