he just asked if i would like him to change his diet so his jizz tastes better. keeper? i think so.
well, if it gives you any insight into how crazy it was, i am currently wikipediaing "anullment"
She made me role-play everything from an older prof to a in-patient in need of a medical exam. Yay for cocaine.
Tim john just told us the story about him losing his virginity at 14 during church on the emergency exit staircase. This is day drinking?
Update. He just picked me up and tried to demonstrate
I feel like a food baby is going to burst from my stomach and eat all the leftovers until another food baby rips out of its stomach. And so on. It's truly a merry Christmas.
Please explain why there is a video of you peeing in the Taco Bell bathroom on my phone? Also why did you wink at the end?
Oh Brad. Your poor brain, always being ignored for your penis and crazy women.
They are stoned and trying to learn sign language together. It's like watching a chimp waving at itself in a mirror.
im lying in bed trying to choke myself out because being awake hurts too much
I definitely think you should enjoy one last spring break being a sorostitute before you get serious and settle down with price charming. I mean hes not going to be there any way. he can wait a week.
I'm at a first year old's birthday party and a midget dressed as a cop just showed up. Word is we're going to toss and bowl with him. Updates to come.
What, so now you are his nutritionist and his fuck buddy?
I JUST SENT A TOILET SELFIE TO THE WRONG PERSON.
Dick is dick
Look decision making is not my specialty
Which is why I just spent $33 on a breakfast sandwich coffee and hash browns
He's a downgrade and it was quick. But it was dick nonetheless.
Randomize
