i love my job...i have craft hour at my desk w twizzlers
can u grab me a application
I think her nose is broken... but I think she's just drunk enough to fall for the whole "sex releases endorphins, so it'll feel better" line.
i just got cum up my nose. i would have expected more from the captain of the men's lacrosse team
You misunderstood me....i wasnt asking and it is not negotiable
You're making this sound more like a hostage situation than a booty call.
Im at target. Idk why I'm buying condoms AND a tutu for my cat. No one who dresses their cat up has ever gotten laid.
I think you'll be amused to know that I achieved the impossible feat of tripping over my own dick
damnit. I just found my cousin on tinder.
oh btw ur so lucky i got stoned and passed out or we sooo would have bedazzled your dick while you slept. just sayin.
I'm going through what feels like a break up with beer. I'm emotionally distraught from it's lack of presence.
went out last night. woke up with a lisp.
I'm not getting off this floor. I love this floor
We have GOT to stop getting stoned and going out for expensive dinners.
Last night was a whirlwind of vodka - induced emotion
IS NO AN EMOTION BECAUSE THAT'S WHAT I'M FEELING RIGHT NOW
Apparently I was carrying around a bottle of listerine calling it 5 loco
Randomize
