Wasted at the beach. Toasting underage, overdeveloped girls. God bless 'em.
I want to give my boyfriend great head for his birthday...can i practice on you?
I can't be drunk. Sober yes. Drunk no. Spoonfuls
NC is no longer selling 190 proof Everclear. We are officially no longer the greatest state.
My dad told me my only assignment from now til graduation is to not die. it's a legit concern for him.
I swear my vagina formed calluses just to deal with how big he is
Ughhhh. Finnnneeeeee. I'll have sex with your brother. Sheesh. The things I do for you woman.
Tell him "come over but don't bring a flaccid dick"
Wear something tight
didn't prepare for this snow storm at all. i only have like 6 beer and all my booty calls already went home for the holiday. this is bull.
LET ME HAVE MY JUDGMENT OF OTHER PEOPLE
I drank too much tequila. I'm hyperventilating. Send help. I think I slipped through satan's asshole.
I was masterbating to some porn on my phone and my mom decides to text me "are you okay?" I mean i was doing great until you cock blocked me mom..
Have you ever thrown up in the middle of your hair appointment? Cause I have..
His dick isn't even good enough to be this much of an asshole
They are like untrained puppies reaking havoc on a newly furnished house. Out of control.
You just compared our vaginas to a newly furnished house...I can dig it.
Randomize
