I look like Roseanne just got in a bar fight with Rosie O'Donnell.
I work with a guy that has a strong spanish accent. He just said "I have a plethora of ..." and I busted out into laughter b4 he finished his sentence b/c it reminded me of 3 amigos.
dude, never let a drunk girl playbite your dick. the doctor came in laughed and left.
I don't care if you go out, because at the end of the night I know i'll be the one fucking you.
that was completely unnecessary, true, but unnecessary
sometimes you just have to pull up your panties, blow a kiss to the security camera and walk out of the alley like nothing happened.
You ever get that 6th sense feeling in your dick like you know its gonna get sucked later?
You're really doing everyone a disservice by wearing pants all the time.
He asked me if the reason I slept around is because I grew up in a broken home. I am so done fucking Christians.
The roommate asked me to make sure no one fucked in his room. And then preceded to give only me permission to fuck in his room. Had no idea who I was, just thought I was trustworthy cause I had Edward 40 hands. Felt like a Tarantino movie.
You're invited to our X-games themed party. We have an ice luge and every time someone eats shit we drink. It's gonna be great.
I DON'T WANT TO KNOW THE SCIENTIFIC REASONING BEHIND WHY I STARTED A HAREM ESPECIALLY NOT FROM A GUY IN THE HAREM!
How would your parents feel if we installed a sex swing?
I need something for rope burns and an inner ear infection. Separate incidents, FYI..
You passed out and I didn't draw a penis on your face. Sister of the year.
Is it day drinking when the suns up like when does that start
asking for a friend
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