i may or may not be hanging out with a boxer who has a daughter tonight. and he just spelled "honestly" like "onistly". He has prob taken a few too many hits to the head but he's hot at least.
Stop blaming waffle house for all your problems
my brother is about to go smoke a joint outside... he's preparing his munchies on the counter beforehand. I admire his responsibility.
Just looking for some anal play. An attempting to read atonement. The highbrow/lowbrow divide is striking.
The cops forgot your handle of tequila when they took you away. Taking shots in your honor amigo
No it was the best sex I've had in months. Nothing turns me on more than getting rid of a boyfriend.
She licked EVERYTHING then yelled at me in Spanish. I just kept saying SI.
found a better reason to procrastinate than the usual sunday-don't-give-no-fucks. literally every one of my textbooks is soaked in captain. can't turn a page without gagging.
I'm attracted to him because he looks like the kind of guy who would lick my asshole without me having to ask.
I woke up to a shattered My Little Pony garbage pail, a black eye I don't know how I got and no one will look me in the face. Fuck tequila.
Remember that time we turned a can of Axe body spray into a flame thrower?
Powdered alcohol is a real thing now. Move over crystal light... Water bottles rejoice!!
How does fucking Canada get Justin Good Guy Take Me Now, Just Fuck Me In The House of Commons Trudeau, and our new President looks like he bathes in cheetoh dust and sin?
while giving me head, she stopped, looked up at me smiling and said "ill never be able to look at bananas the same way again" and then went back to work.
My life. Always pantsless and occasionally topless.
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