I just put a picture of what I imagine Rob's dick looks like on it on my vision board. thank you Oprah!
Woke up un the hot tuv. Climbed out fo the hot tub and fell asleeo. Woke ip again in the hot tub.
i just figured out how to balance my wine bottle on my boobs so that i don't have to tip it with my hands...breathing has new meaning
Thanks to her sunglasses tan, I can't look at her when she blows me cause it's like getting blown by a raccoon. A very talented raccoon
You have my approval. I will dance and throw skittles at your funeral.
Siri just called me GayBoy in front of my family. I will destroy you.
They said you bought the guy a shot and was talking about being Greek and then all of the sudden just puked all in their pitcher of beer and got kicked out of the bar.
Can you plz delete the video of me twerking in Waffle House, my mom just got a vine.
You started crawling towards a moving train. Maybe you should take it easy next time
Tonight we learned that just because we can fit a Tic Tac in the tip of my penis that does not mean we should.
He kept saying I needed to go to the hospital and it just made me want to call him a pussy so I went to bed
PEOPLE ARE STILL EATING FAJITAS IN DROVES. BY THE CASELOAD. THERES A FORKLIFT OF SIZZLING MEATS.
Fuck you. All I remember from last night is telling random people that I'm in a "judgement free zone" then I threw up
What the hell kind of sad excuse for a bottom are you
The cat's telling me to stop taking acid, and to start doing the lords work. I'm almost 99% sure he's talking about the dark lord.
THIS CAT'S GOING TO TURN INTO A SNAKE AND KILL ME! GET OVER HERE NOW! BRING YOUR WAND.
Randomize
