Uggggg i want to leave and get bombed over baghdad
So he flipped me over and suddenly went limp then told me he was thinking about his ex.
so you punched his junk, right?
Someone in my class is wearing shirt and on the back it says...National Bible Quiz Finalist 2006. Do you really expect me to find a guy here
I drank 13 shots. Which is unlucky. Which is why i threw up.
you threw up because you drank 13 SHOTS
You know the gilmore girls would be alright if it was on mute the whole time
The cops just drove by on their loudspeaker going DO NOT DRINK THE WATAHH
I love boston
You remember that guy i fucked in Ireland who stopped in the middle to talk about why he had 8 pillows on his bed? Yeah he's following me on twitter...
Doing 9 month old dishes in my bath tub. These dishes literally had enough time to gestate a human child
WHY WONT HOT GETMAN MAKR PUPR WITH ME!!!!???!?!!
We got a lap dance! I touched a boob!
Being responsible doesn't make memories.
I found Erin. She's getting a back massage from the coat check boy and drinking all his whiskey.
why did i wake up in the bathroom?
we had to stay with you a while until we convinced you it wasn't safe to wash your face, then you fell asleep with your foot in the toilet.
Can you leave her a note saying "did you enjoy watching me fuck your roommate?"
I will.
For a second I thought he was going to give me an intervention
You can't give interventions in a bar!
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