he keeps dipping things in ranch and feeding them to me
I'm so hungover i just sang the alphabet to see if "Z" comes after "W"
i just woke up to 15 people singing a whole new world
You spent most of the night crying and throwing leftover meatballs at the neighbors dogs
i have 90 minutes to kick this food poisoning or josh's first experience with buttsex will be his last
You kept saying you we're gonna puke and wanted to steal my pants
That does not explain the remnants of a small fire in my bathtub.
Well my friend Jon slept on the couch and I slept next to my cooked lean pocket on the carpet
Dude true life I died at the derby...I lost everyone I knew, went down a bourbon and mud slip and slide, lost my hat, fell off the roof of a porta potty, sprained my ankle and knee and then got arrested.
Just had sex to Jesse & the Rippers. Can check that one off the bucket list.
She came so hard that after she finished, she started a slow clap and then told me she pulled a muscle.
I mean. I'm excited for the Seahawks too. I just love nachos.
So basically he is jobless, a potential serial killer, and has poor taste in music? We simply don't have time for that.
Yeah you were fine except for when you peed under the bar
I take it you're alive?
Mostly. Can't quite control my arms.
there is puke in my bra ... again
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