3 deer just ran past us on the street. At least I get to see some tail tonight
everyone made a circle around them and startd chanting fight fight. they wernt fighting, they were dry humping
it's just like freshman year of high school, with more drugs
He just kept yelling woof and then threw money all over me...
Very hungover, bought a newspaper and found my shorts from last night in the machine.
I wasnt that drunk. Throwing the table off the third story was totally logical.
they're both coked to the gills having a shouting match about the powers and abilities of godzilla. and using the wikipedia entry on the topic to support their respective arguments.
You force fed me chocolate chips and avocados for 3 hours and kept asking me about my trip to sweden when I was 4.
We now know how the night ended in arrest according to the flip camera I did 10 handle pulls and beer bonged a 40. My life choices are getting worse and worse this is your fault.
His flight is delayed. Mother Nature is delaying me from sex.
You're not horrible. Thank you for my pandas.
This is the third year in a row that Mario has fallen through a table on New Years. I'm sensing a tradition developing.
Strip club, what strip club did I eat a steak at? That's the appropriate question
I'm committing myself to dance. Also, I'm unsure if you said space party sounded lame because dude was old, but I hope you're over it because I love space, and I love David Bowie and I love to dance, and you need to embrace this with me.
Do you wanna fuck while my apple pie is in the oven?
Randomize
