better yet, through the bookshelves. like an intellectual glory hole
Just found 2 diff. colored pubes in my underwear..new record.
He said I came instead of I'm coming. I wonder if he noticed my state of confusion when I stopped blowing him.
Wasn't he an English major?
Do they take checks?
Did you really just ask me if you could write a check for a DRUG DEAL?
well considering we left the bathroom with the mirror off the wall, a bloody nose, and clothes all messed up they assume im just a coke whore now..
Whatever, the fact of the matter is that I saved you from poorly planned outdoor sex by doing a rain dance and you should totally thank me.
When he left he said something to the effect of "well now that I've been used..." I think he may be on to me.
You said your face felt like it was made out out of boxes and kept asking me to give you a bath.
I should just black out in my front yard again- that was a great nights sleep.
Im eating a cannibus peanut butter and jelly sandwich, while snuggling a stuffed animal. Either this flu is really really harsh or I'm some kind of stoner toddler
Depending on which video of him streaking you watch, you can see me passed out in the front row.
Stop chatting and get in the fucking car. I didn't get my asexual ass out of bed just to watch you flirt and fail with someone you're never going to see again.
He put his SoundCloud on his Tinder bio. I felt personally attacked.
whoever decided snowing in 90 percent of campus on a night when the streets are flowing with tequila and skittles was clearly not an R.A.
My vagina measures dicks. It's accurate to the half inch.
Randomize
