Yea dude! Love it. Hate it. Have it.
Everyday of my life.
Her life has all the ingredients for a how to book: Making Your Life an Epic Fail
apparently, it's not a good idea to make jokes about sending newborns through airport security xrays. the moms dont see the humor.
But why'd she put it on the conveyor then?
she gave up head for lent, but she said sex was still fair game
Guy Shares All The ‘New Discoveries’ He’s Made Since Moving In With His Girlfriend And It’s Hilariously Relatable
Oh my god it's like Minesweeper. I can tell there's sex in three of the four rooms, but which one is the safe one?
Apparently she doesn't appreciate the significance of eskimo sisterhood as much as I do.
The only way i can get arrested is public drunkenness or defacing a national monument. Trust me, i have already looked it up.
You are the only one who would stop a bum, tell him to open up, then pour straight vodka in his mouth. You made his year.
I feel a bullet train of disappointment headed in your direction.
Guy Accidentally Starts A Group Chat With All The Girls He’s Talking To And Gets Absolutely Roasted
It's just good to know that when I drink like a twenty year old I still act like one.
She sucks. And I almost hooked up with a clown last night
Handcuffs. Recoverd. I'm a goddamn detective.
Godammit I caught my hair on fire taking a bong rip
I've been with my family a total of 20 minutes and I'm ready to go on a bender. This is going to be a long weekend.
Did we kick in my basement door last night?
Yes. I think you actually bought tennis shoes specifically for that application.