he's the Salvador Dali of pubic shaving
Is it possible to be promiscuous but in a classy way?
Just woke up in bed, AC on high, with a fresh pack of smokes, an unopened pint of vodka, and a bag w a beef patty w cheese in it. I think my roommate's like the toothfairy or something. Or that was way more Xanax than I needed.
My boss just gave me full permission to come into work wasted this weekend.
Khloé Kardashian Finally Speaks Out About The Tristan Thompson Cheating Scandal
I made him breakfast and we cuddled on the couch watching march of the penguins, which is, in case you were unaware, the opposite of fucking on a pool table
You just kept holding your breath for a really long time and calling it lung excersizes.
I'm with Tony. He said he volunteers his ball sack for waxing but you will have to wait a few weeks. It is a freshly shaved sack. I guess he thought he was gonna get lucky. Wtf?
she put on her moms wedding dress and is chugging purple jolly rancher vodka, happy cyber monday
No one ever gets any after sleeping with her. She is like the broken mirror of hookups, enjoy 7 years of blue ball. Don't say I didn't warn you
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I just laughed so hard that my back cracked so hard that I thought I was cumming. Magic
How many fucks given?
Is there one of me peeing? If so do I look bangable in it
I can no longer play with you. I puked on my feet in the shower. I'm too old for this.
It's Valentine's Day, I figure for sure we'll have sex today, right? Wrong. I tried unsuccessfully for like an hour to get him to fuck me. Now he's asleep and I'm on my way to join the public library.
He's got a british accent, a tounge ring, and he's wearing an eye patch... Of corse I'm fucking him