You told me alcohol would be the death of you then ordered 10 shots of tequila.
He stole her cigarettes and walked 15 miles just so he wouldn't have to wake up next to her. God I love being a lesbian.
I'm pretty sure you thought I could absorb alcohol through my dress
HE HAS A FUCKING TWIN. HE HAS A TWIN. I'M NOT DRUNK THERE IS TWO OF THEM.
He's coming over for beer and a movie, but I just don't know if he's interested.
Pathetic and sad. I should come over there and fuck both of you just to get the ball rolling.
I threw all my money on the ground and said it was for homeless people and fell down the stairs
So maybe putting the blacklight above the futon wasn't the best idea...
I just rolled an Obama blunt and a Romney shame joint for tonight. Vote wisely.
I may, or may not have licked his face in an Applebee's.
I've been wearing the same clothes for 3 days and they're covered in franzia
He took initiative. Dragged me into the kitchen and did me on the stove....while it was on! And then we made nachos.
FUCK and YOU. times 10. To infinity and beyond. You bastard. Worst. Cockblock. Ever. I'm going to nail your sister.
yes, i'm a douce. but i'm a high quality douche.
i feel like doing his laundry was not included in the job description when we became fuck buddies.
a day off where I don’t get laid would be worthless
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