Any time before 12:00pm. Can go fuck itself.
the pharmacist hit on me as i picked up my herpes medecine. i think we found a winner.
Well it looked like you were having a fucking apiphany sitting at the toilet with a t shirt around your head
Dude. I only took a 20 out the ATM last night. How do I have 83 ones?
You stole from the strippers again. I wish I was ninja like you
New York to be Host to America’s Biggest Singles Event
a 6'8" white kid in a Lin jersey just wandered out of my gay kid brother's room. when does spring break end, again?
I think you are the only one slutty enough and evil enough for the job. Just go in and blue ball him. He broke my nose in Middle school. He deserves this.
I'm pretty stoned, and for a second I forgot that I'm not actually Barbie and I was getting excited about all the fun we were going to have on my jet.
The internet is out at West Chester so I'm masturbating using my imagination. What is this, the fucking dark ages?
Do you remember biting my ear and whispering quotes of Pride and Prejudice last night?
Kylie Jenner Wasn’t in the Kardashian X-Mas Cards & the Internet is Losing it
$1 drinks and Playboy theme. I am never leaving this place
Is using cherry lube as jam shameful or hilarious
I manage to fit my wine bottle in my koozie and the rest is history
I WOULD NEVER MIX DICK AND MCDONALDS
So woke up naked and found my clothes from last night in my kitchen with a half eaten quesadilla
The sad moment you remember you have no power for a week and can't flush.....
Wrong number bro but that sounds like a damn shame.