Currently looking for a new liver on ebay. Struggle.
Smoked a bowl on a rollercoaster. Literally ON. Beat that.
I should have known there'd be issues when he included "beautiful soul" in our playlist
Umm. Any where really. Alcohol and boobs. Those are the requirements.
The 21 Worst Ways People Have Been Dumped
you really dont want me to drink and drive. you saw what i did to my face and that was only from walking
You should see the damage i did to the apartment last night. So many broken things and butter sticks stuck to windows.No memorys
What makeup look will say to the therapist 'I am a smart, well-adjusted young woman'?
All I know is she had me sitting on the kitchen floor with her little Pomeranian eating potato chips And shredded cheese. I don't even know dude. I don't even know.
Before I roll over explain to me why you're naked and on my floor.
19 People Confess The Worst Things They Have Been Accused Of
I pull out like 90% of the time, but that's just to make art.
The dorm having an ice machine is their way of inviting us to make mixed drinks.
I caught a glimpse of his penis. I can only imagine what your mom's vagina goes through because of that penis
It doesn't count as "finding the lesbian" if you fuck a straight girl!
That went from 0 to lesbian orgy much faster than expected...
My liver can't handle being unemployed!