somehow, due in part to drug cocktail and alchl prior to meeting, i blacked out, got home, made total mess of kitchen, broke shower, and made 17 hard boiled eggs
good penises are hard to come by.... must be the economy...
My friend's 9-year-old son just informed me that for a cop station, you can't use a shotgun; you have to use a machine gun. Thank you, Grand Theft Auto, for single-handedly corrupting our youth.
I gave her a mint afterward. It felt like giving turndown service at Hotel BJ.
I could be wrong, but im pretty sure i jumped off the roof after my lighter.
Dude she was 62...with a boob job. And I'm proud to say I made out with that.
Yes I want to fuck your friends but it's out of respect and love for you.
The stripper was waving you to the stage, not up on the stage. That's why you got choked out.
Okay, I just got to our real hotel and the YMCA may have been a better choice. A man w/ no shirt on
Not to mention I think lunch is a little inappropriate when our relationship is only based on Mario kart and alcohol so far...
why do all the dudes in this porno look like billy ray cyrus
I feel like you're gonna be reading this at 6 AM in a ditch or under a bridge, but please remember...I offered to drive you home. And you said no.
The sad thing is that it's 6:45 and you're not far off.
Give me a minute. I'm trying to buy moonshine from a railroad worker named "Cowboy."
Guess who has two thumbs and broke her boyfriends dick?
That kid singlehandedly fucked the breakup right out of me. I'm only hooking up with Millenials from here on out.