Omg just want to confirm: got drunk, naked in street, fucked in bathroom and puked on bart.
Apparently I think casual Friday means I can show up unshaven in yesterday's clothes and reeking of booze.
just bought a 30 and sold it for $2 a can to some dumb ass high school kids. now lets buy two and get really drunk
i hope whoever thought of bagged wine flip cup last night has the same hangover as me. not ok.
I just realized there's an entire generation of children that will never know Alex Trebek had a mustache... Sad.
its family weekend so i'm givin my little bro a tour of everywhere ive thrown up on campus
just got hammed at grandma and grampas 30th aniversary bash .. from the looks i was getting im guessing i wont be seeing an inheritance ...
It was cool in an 'oh shit I'm gonna get arrested' way.
The fire breather is here so I may get my second wind.
Sitting in airport bathroom. Guy walks into toilet next to me and announces "I want to apologize to the entire airport for what I'm about to do"
googling pictures of Lindsey Lohan so that I know what to wear to court is definitely a low point in my life
I don't have any bail money, if that's where this conversation is going
she is legit trying to fuck me to death between her and work i haven't slept in 3 days and have at least 16 hours to go before sleep is a possibility. can i crash at your place she doesnt know where you live
it was all good until mid make out when he announced 'i just came'. ...he wasn't joking.
Interlocking vagina powers go!!'
Oh god, your drunk again aren't you?
Randomize
