It's pouring out. I am cold, wet, and miserable.... Kind of reminds me of our sleepover last night.
I have no morals, kinda like you have no standards
None
i was watching some porn this morning and i realized i am blessed with a truly beautiful vagina
High as balls & about to be tanning. Helloooo 15 minute vacay.
other girls like to lick balls but none of them live for it like u do
drunk me is my new role model. he's fearless. like not even afraid of tornadoes.
you should break up with her....give her the gift of reality
Did I really make him pull over to give the homeless guy my bra?
Last time we had an ultimatum like that, things went very far south. I'm down, but it's your turn to wake up in a hospital.
My doctor actually said I was suffering from an "acute hangover" in doctor's note I asked him for....what a douche
We're doing a team debriefing of Saturday night in group text right now. As 75% of the female presence at that party we saw some shit.
I am at 99 matches in less than 24 hours, I need a tinder rehab program
The bar brought brought it upon themselves, they played billy joels piano man before closing, it's not our fault the bar isn't a bar anymore, right?
Im gonna start dry humping the manequins and see if i get fired.
Bahahah I should. I’m the free range drunk girl who should clearly not be free range because who knows what kind of fuckery I would get into
Randomize
