He finally admitted that he was drunk when I asked him how he got the rug burn on his chin and he replied "the worm contest"
she told me i tasted like america
I just had a flashback of me saying "I'm not ready to be a deadbeat mom" lastnight.
was i strangled at any point last night? or was his dick just that long
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
siamese drinking twins saturday is a go ... bring duct tape.
My vagina bone hurts from grinding on that dude so hard.
I suggest absurd amounts of masturbation this weekend to build up the necessary calluses
When everyone ask you tomorrow go ahead and tell them I'm the girl that fell of safe ride and was all bloody.
He held the kayak still so I wouldn't tip over while projectile vomiting. If that ain't true love, I don't know what is...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
In hindsight following that black guy in the ghostbusters costume was a terrible decision on everyone's part
I'm pretty sure his cum gave me swimmer's ear.
Hey, is this going to be a real date, or am I just meeting you at a hotel to have sex in the bathroom? Given our history, I think it's a fair question.
DIBS on your mom for my beer pong partner.
Sometimes i wish my vagina automatically turned itself off when i'm legally drunk.
He is completely naked, curled in a ball, and rocking back and forth in the shower humming lullabies to himself. This is your responsibility since I'm going to be fucking someone in 5.7 seconds.
Randomize