I just masturbated at work. Does that make me a prostitute since i just technically got paid to have sex?
Have you ever noticed that nowhere is the same thing as now here, i get my best ideas when i smoke
It really wasent that hard. The male one had a M and the woman one had a W. I just couldent comprehend that at the time.
honestly, magaritas are the void men can't fill.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The question of "Will I eat a piece of curried chicken off the floor?" has been answered tonight.
I say we get drunk before the exam tomorrow. At least then we have a valid excuse for failing.
Lazier than spoon feeding yourself popcorn and debating adult diapers so you don't have to leave the mentalist marathon on tv?
I don't think we had sex because when I woke up he was still wearing the chicken suit.
I'm on my fifth cocktail in twenty minutes. I don't think I will end this on two legs.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dave when you find that upper decker at your house its from me but its for Jill not you
Boys should be on-demand - like, once you select one, he's yours for the next 24-hours
There was this blissful moment of peace and quiet... then you ran past our window with a lit firecracker in hand going, "SHIT. SHIT. SHIT!"
We have a great relationship based on communication, sex, and mutual loathing.
I'm sexting with a 20 year old that has a foot fetish... This is what Sailor Jerry drives me to do.
so i showed up to the bars in a sombrero and a tie as a headband... so yeah, they didn't let me in
Randomize