If it makes you feel better, you're better at taking it in than ass than she is...
Well...yeah actually, that does make me feel better
do you know your status is "goal for vegas: hook up with a girl AND a boy"?
and THATS why i'm not adding my mom on facebook
Tortellini makes me feel like I'm eating hundreds of little vaginas
Ethically speaking on a scale from 1 to morally wrong, how wrong would it be to give babies ambien? Hypothetically speaking.
I tried to take a photo for proof but couldn't hold my penis, camera, and measuring tape all at the same time.
I will not fuck this loser. I will not fuck this loser. I will not fuck this loser.
You threw up with your ski mask on still.
dude, my ass and shoulder hurt from that kayak last night... note to self: wood planks holding kayak from ceiling do not also hold up a human being
he told me he didn't know whether he was gonna puke, pass out, or cum. i don't know if i should be flattered or offended.
Whoever labeled dysfunctional a bad thing obviously never saw this frinedship coming.
I've made out with more people in 2014 than I did the whole fall semester
He handed me a beer to drink as he went down on me. I want to keep him
The next morning I found her spread eagle asleep on the living room floor and he was asleep with his head in her crotch. I needed a ride and had to wake them up.
Someone puked in my crockpot. Your friends can’t come over any more.
We'll handle his penis the same way we handle day drinking; together.
Randomize
