there's a girl in the library on mysapce. she must have missed the memo.
I made popcorn. Partly so the room doesn't smell like sex, and partly to apologize for the things you saw when you walked in...
and then you seriously asked him to senior prom..which freaked him out since you told him earlier you were 22
Totally just met the chick getting nailed in our lobby last night. Should I bring it up?
I called her 20 times. Apparently she went home to do MORE shots before bed. Didnt miss me until this morning. WHO FORGETS THEIR HIGHSCHOOL SISTER AT A FRAT?
A guy wearing a shirt that says "eat shit and die motherfucker" just held open a door for me. He's got manners.
ASS. GYMANSTICS. OLYMPICS. NOW!!!
I don't know whether to laugh it off or be pissed at him..I got pulled over this morning leaving his place and the officer thought my hickeys were hand prints around my neck and asked if I needed to be escorted out of town.
Just cried because I'm out of oreos. This post-molly depression can go fuck itself.
I just got fingered in the Win-Co parking lot for pills. How's your meltdown going?
Sensing a theme here
If alcoholism is a theme, yes.
She asked me if I would fuck her with my storm trooper mask on
Jesus fuck that was emotional whiplash
I have done everything sexualally imaginable with that umpalumpa
Honestly after an incomprehensible political rant yoga seems like the best option at 2 am
Randomize
