Had a 3 sum last night, and today food just taste better and the air seems so much fresher!
there should be a rule against ugly people hooking up.
yeah...but then what would the ugly people do? hook up with pretty people? yeahhh..don't see that happening in the near future. plus i'm not okay with that.
So i think we're being coned into a threesome with the promise of pokemon
so, the parking garage attendent caught us humping in the car. long story short, we have free parking whenever we want! take that abstinence.
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i wanna meet her so much more now that I know she got toed in a hottub.
we can add 'stealing hydrangeas from the sign in front of the credit union because we're too poor to have all of the flower arrangements professionally done' to my list of maybe-felonies
Yeah, clearly. And then we can float around my room on Christmas themed inner tubes. And drink, I guess.
The straight guy here is hot. He described himself as Christian grey without the money and my vagina fell out of my body
The only excuse this guy at the club had for trying to make out with me as soon as I met him was "I AM FROM MEXICOOO"
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But how will the next generation learn about life choices without a Jersery Shore?
I woke up in some kids room and he introduced me to his friends at breakfast as "Monica" so I just went with it.
I bought a machete, tennis balls, and matches. How is this NOT going to be a great night?
All I remember is talking the cops into calling us a cab instead of giving us PIs while trying to wake up your passed-out-on-a-bench ass.
You went into my bathroom put on my bathrobe.. Said excuse me then went in my front yard and started yelling who ate my whopper..
Unless your name is actually "Ticfj" like my phone says, I have no idea who you are...
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