she looks like someone took a bunch of spare parts and glued them all on one face. it's quite horrifying.
i don't think my family understands the severity of a twenty first birthday.
the last thing i remember was trying to convince him to call over his girlfriend so we could have a threesome
So my prents justed posted "DO NOT DISTURB" on facebook and i just heard their door shut and lock...I'm leaving
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I seriously might throw up right now. In class. Sunglasses on. I'm getting too old for this.
And then the lady sheeps would bring me the finest grass to eat cuz im the sheep king and id have sexy smooth sheep fur
He sent me a recycled dick pic! He could at least use one without sunlight in it, considering it's 10pm
He invites me over too FucK and i wind up eating 6 jimboys tacos with his roommates. While he waited in his room. Maybe next time
I did coke with the Royal Navy last night. God save the queen.
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It was really strange. I feel like I had sex with a synchronized swimmer.
When he mumbled "I can't feel my legs," proceeded to stand, fall over, and just lay there I knew I'd given great head...
I wish I could open myself up and check on my liver. Make sure it's hanging on. Ya know?
after the ketamine those signs on the bathroom door had little meaning to us
So today was the first day i've been sober since Wednesday according to my roommate!
Why would I want a relationship when I’m the side dick for my boss and a few women from the gym
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