It's an Italian thing I guess, grew up on that shit.
I'm Irish, we don't eat cow guts unless they're blended into a fine whiskey
just caught my little brother jacking off the family pet
i'm watching the tyra show: "women who beat up their boyfriends" - lets see how she can make THIS one all about herself too.
Does transporting jello shots count as driving with an open container?
Apparently getting drunk, buying a guitar from your local costco and walking in to an open mic night is not the same as rocking out to guitar hero...
He came on me while singing crank dat like soulja boy, fuck our sex life has reached a whole new level of low
I had to sleep with my math professor to pass algebra. Apparently my blowjobs are only C+ quality
I may have just unintentionally roofied a man in a wheelchair
I think drinking everclear was a better idea than taking a night class.
Then me, her, and her mom snorted tequila. The bartender was in shock.
I have to take tonight off from shenanigans. My liver is planning a coup
We got stuck in traffic in the tunnel while we were smoking weed. We were afraid to air out the car.
I just want to go home and eat bagel bites in my underwear
It's 5am and I have yet to fall asleep. At what point do we just accept that I run on vodka?
Lesbians just stole my cat :(
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