And Anthony pissed on himself at the strip club
its like playing clue every morning after we party. she did him in the kitchen with..oh god.
The online application for Mcdonald's said I could do incredible things there. Today I threw out shit filled underwear in the women's restroom and escorted a very drunk/high 42 year old man outside after he ordered a 5 dollar foot long and a bloody mary.
i just called. the lady was really nice. something tells me my schools clinic gets a lot of calls about chlamydia
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His penis has a special gift of curing my broken heart
I just threw up every bad decision and it hurts
He told me I was 100% better then porn then passed out nto the cake
My legs have surpassed "hairy" and entered the territory of "furry". Maybe I should just suck it up and shave already
No now I'm curious!
xanax give me strength to not ask where we stand with booty calls
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I'm not saying I would have to be high to sleep with him. I'm just saying it would probably help.
Now when you said you'd never sleep with me, did you really mean never on a Monday or never without handcuffs or a blindfold or never on a airplane or never without lots of booze? Cus never is a pretty strong word.
I have experienced an excessively hairy ballsack in my mouth...and it was horrifying. I keep feeling it in my mouth now. It's like hairy ball PTSD.
I found a loose wire in my thermostat. Couldn't find the pliers, so I used a nipple clamp to fix it.
I loaned him a tie and then had to tie it for him. I'm like his weird lesbian girlfriend.
Mass text: dear whatever jerk off who thinks they stole drugs from me. It was birth control. Go fuck yourself. And pray that I don't get pregnant.
Who puts their birth control in a bottle with a smiley face?!
Oh fuck wait
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