i just got a Mexican deported. not sure how to feel.
i was rollin on her like bob the builder
worms taste like bacon by the way.
I always wondered what they tasted like.
i cant even explain all the reasons why i dont want to fuck you right now.
I puked for half an hour, but I went and danced afterwards, and that made me feel better.
You are so irish.
I give you the lube, you make me the mac and cheese, that's a pretty fair deal I think.
we need to start a braincell conservation fund for you, sort of like save the whales or something.
yep. it's official. for $40 they will let you lick the stripper pole.
I'm not wearing underwear, I started my period this morning, and it's super windy. Recipe for disaster?
We used the solo cup bag for her hair tie. Desperate times call for desperate measures.
I woke up to a head of lettuce on my nightstand, someones Honda abandoned in my yard, the cat partially shaved, and a empty bottle of sailor hanging by a scarf from the rafters. Oh, and 26 people apparently came though and rubbed my back in the process of the night. Happy 23rd to me!
I was looking at your puke while I was peeing in it the next morning and that ceasar salad did not treat you well
just almost had a panic attack because i couldn't find the granola bar i put in my purse. i miss klonopin.
I baked a frozen pizza completely, put it back in the plastic and box, and put it back in the freezer. THAT drunk.
you yelled, puked and cried then passed out in the fetal position in your underwear
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