It doesn't matter if they shave you or not, you're still susceptible to the staph infection.
Pretty people don't get stds, I knew it
i just googled the alphabet. i couldnt remember if it was jklomnop or jklmnop.
If i die in the snow, get to my laptop and delete all of the nickelback. password is "barry"
as in "white"?
Security brought me back to our hotel room in a wheelchair last night. Vegas.
And if you ever tell anyone that I will fucking kill you.
You love him. Dinosaurs. Math. Sex.
I have so many hands. So. Many. Hands. I can feel arms that I don't have yet. They tickle. I can see the blood in my eyes. I think something is happening. The hands!!! I'm ticking myself with hands I don't have yet! I can't stop giggling about my notyet hands!
its warm now so i can go back to sleeping with guys based on their fuckability rather than how much warmth they generate.
Happiness is watching your asshole boss' police DUI video.
Someone is in my phone as "fireball girl" and keeps texting me. How do I go about finding out who it is?
Took me 10 minutes of oral to finally get him hard for like 30 seconds of sex until he came and passed out. Def not worth the ROI.
Funny, 'cause his story is it went great. He faked passing out so he wouldn't have to do anything in return.
Look, all I can tell ya is I want to drink wine out of a bottle while you eat me. It would be the most fantastic end to finals week. Maybe ever.
There arew tilmes ina man's life when christmaas. THerew are times in a man's lfie when drunk texts from a bathrom hyufgirto. So, you know, merry chriastmans.
I'm terrified that I'm going to have a baby with a guy who posts snapchat stories while ignoring my texts
Who the fuck puts glitter on their vagina? It’s all over my face and crotch.
Randomize
