weddingsv make me drug and hornr
i saved all my weight watcher points for this alcohol
as evidence of my kitchen this morning my night involved alot of mustard and condoms
What kind of person begs for a BJ from someone who just got their wisdom teeth out?
you're being stingy. if you didnt want people to have sex on your couch, you shouldve specifically said so.
You know how hard it is to drive a dirtbike down a road with 2 plants of weed on your lap. Fucking hard
You're the only person I know who would be upset about making out with a girl you like. You're like a drunken Charlie Brown.
Ways to ruin a one night stand: the guy finds your parenting magazine on your dorm room desk.
Beyoncé wouldn't let anything bad happen here
I dont think you understand. A NOODLE FELL OUT OF MY VAGINA! I DEMAND TO KNOW WHAT YOU DID TO ME LAST NIGHT!
I'm too drunk to remember your name. I'm too drunk to recall where i'm currently at. And i'm too drunk to give a shit.
I just realized u compared me to a coconut
Mom just walked in on a bj. IT'S WHATEVER.
I just racked up a fucking ginormous hospital bill because I came so hard I had an asthma attack
Pretty sure this radio station is run by a cult. Good thing it's in Spanish, can't brainwash someone who can't understand you.
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