your butthole totally puckers for the ginge
He kept asking me to take off my bra and I sat up so he could. He fumbled with it for a few minutes and when I sighed and went to undo it he goes, "Yeah, you got this."
Hold on im havin a staring contest with my cat
Im like a co-bf. he pays for her birthday and christmas, but i get all the action.
Condom broke. Took her to CVS for plan B and parked in expectant mothers spot. I laughed.. she cried
sudden memory flashback: you and i having sex on the bed, erin sitting naked in your desk chair drinking whiskey straight from the bottle while harassing you for your computer password to play some "mood music." high five. go us.
Bruce the cab driver wants to take me on a date to see Taken 2
Man i fell asleep on a random persons porch on the way home and woke up to the family banging on the windows trying to wake me up
of course the one day I come to class high we have guest speakers from the police department... Just my luck
At least you didn’t announce to an entire bar you’ve eaten pussy, and then knocked your beer over.
I just licked wine off my own thigh. I've hit a new low.
What started out as a one night stand ended in him texting me the next day, saying he thought he was gay.
I made a powerpoint to trip to.
you are so studious.
I’ve looked at so many mouse vaginas in the past week
Bahahah I should. I’m the free range drunk girl who should clearly not be free range because who knows what kind of fuckery I would get into
Randomize
