I don't make mistakes...just understandable bad choices.
That was a long time ago. She needed the money.
apparentely "Beer Pong Champ" is not a profession, no wonder they havent called me back......
told ya
she is the kim kardashian of front butts
After the concert, I paid a cab to drive me around the city so I could shout "dc highfive!" at everyone who passed for an hour and a half.
he put $150 on the cabs dash so 9 of us could pile in and ride 3 blocks to the apartment.
She said she'd heard about my nickname in high school. Apparently sledgehammer isn't as popular as you'd believe...
I found a fingernail in my vagina. A fingernail.
I was mid-sentence and you stopped me and said, "Yeah.. for my vaginas sake, I'm gonna need you to stop talking right now."
C'mon pople!!! THursday afternoon isnot gonna drinkin itself!!!
Even dream me is a champ at smoking weed
unless you have a dick and you were thinking of chopping that off
I stopped hooking up with him and ran to the bathroom to throw up. He saw me throwing up and it made him throw up
Seriously just told the plant the cheese Pringles are mine.
Is that strawberry winking at me??
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