update: the house isnt on fire anymore, but he is still pissing on all your stuff.
the house was on fire??
shit I thought I told you.
so i woke up in some guy's bed but then i realized i can atone for this tomorrow
Still at the library. i hate tax accounting so much that i've started calling it potions...
She bet her virginity on the Celtics. Looks like Kobe wont be the only one breaking in a new ring.
i'm satisfied with the level of pretty that his new girlfriend isn't.
Found our threesome girl. She says I'm pretty. She doesn't know I'm pregnant. Yet. Think we can pull it off?
In reality u ask do u have beer at your house but what your really saying is will there be cock in my mouth
Pretty sure I just heard the turkey yell "don't put me in there" as it was going in the oven. way too high for this holiday.
I told your dad we had a nice lunch and hung out for awhile. It seemed more appropriate than "I had a bite of his canned chili and then we ripped each others clothes off."
I was picked up from his hotel room at 5 a.m. and came home with my panties and jäger in a McDonald's bag so the desk attendant wouldn't judge me. This is what single at 25 is about.
he never texted me back from last night. i think brining out the suction cup dildo was a mistake
Haha we both slept with guys named Brad born on may 1st. This is a proud day for sisters.
I made out with the hosts' boyfriend, infront of her, drank way too much, slept in my car and convinced everyone that I'm really a nice person. If that's not skilled lying, I don't know what is.
To be honest, I'm more surprised when you're not high at this point
he told me I was hypnotizing him with my mouth so I guess I do give good head
Randomize
