THE most awkward situation I have EVER been in
Also, I just threw up a little in my mouth and had to act like everything was totally fine.
I'm so drunk that I ordered a root beer at the bar. Whoops?
I feel like i'm in the derek zoolander school for kids who can't read good.
when life gives you lemons, puke and rally.
I brought his matress to the living room we're laying on it listening to rick james drinking vodka
If you were wondering whether I accidentally FaceTime called the undergrad who works for me in lab during a particularly graphic blow job last night, then the answer is yes.
I just watched the lion king for the first time in years. It's like the equivalent of a really good blow job.
I came back to consciousness and found myself sitting in a beanbag chair petting a 2 month old husky with one hand and eating an oreo Klondike bar with the other. This almost makes me forgive blackout lisa for making out with that chubbs at the xmas party
my roommates tied me up with rope and duct tape then left me outside the door to the hot girls' suite on my floor, knocked on the door and ran away leaving me there with a sign that says free
Now I can't unsee my hot boss's under-boobs. Monday will be awkward.
Pics or STFU
I am not working on the very first day I can throw up alcohol that I legally bought and drank.
I woke up with a bagel in my mouth, still ate it. Free breakfast
He said that he made a girl squirt to the ceiling and I got curious
First of all she starred talking about God which immediately killed my buzz
We're playing drunken roulette. We're taking exlax followed by shots. First person to shit themselves loses!
Randomize
