Funny, I didnt know that facebook statuses were for crappy song lyrics
You were waisted for 48 hours and the only 3 words you said were yup, sure, and michigan
Set off the fire alarm in our dorm at 2:30 am last night. 150 Naked people wrapped in towels shared a bag of popcorn with me as we watched the firefighters frantically search for my burnt popcorn in the building.
OMG THAT WAS YOU?!
I caught her walking around with a fake mustache, wearing a sombrero and holding an empty carton of milk. She's a hopeless cause.
I'm sure me singing - rather loudly - "fuck me in the back seat" last night didn't help either.
I'm proud of you, you were pretty classy last night, you didn't puke AND you didn't take off your shirt, except for those two times in the corner.
I'm never drinking with you again. I woke up in Midtown with a 7' tall Norwegian rugby player named Lexie. Never. Again.
i took four shots of tequila, threw my fist up in the air, then went around the party showing everyone how to do the ninja turtle handshake. that's the last thing I remember
Could we try to replay the decision making process whereby only you and I bought and drank a keg this weekend? Because there were some fundamental flaws!
I think after 8 tries we can say Stoli Thursdays cause too much damage.
I just had a drunk lesbian experience.... How do I break it to my boyfriend??
I'm highly inebriated watching star wars, this text was sent via the force
I got to walk around for eight hours wearing power armor and acting camp. No way I wouldn't love it.
Is someone on their way here yet? I'm way too tweaked to be here alone
Do you think in an oreo forest they would have rivers of milk?
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