He was dressed in cheap leather and smelled like death.
im pretty sure you tried to fart so bad you accidently pissed your pants at my party.
I just got my poem back from the prof, there's a sticker of a girraffe on it and it says "you're awesome!" ... How can this even be considered real college?!?
I bought you a small gift as a preemptive apology for being a drunken slut tonight.
Never visiting again. You guys drink like immortals
I always enjoy the bewildered gaze as I buy chips, salsa and beer @ 0745.
I mean it was like cry my eyes out or masturbate in my moms bathroom.
We were apparently using marine hand signals to communicate to one another where to meet up in the house to hook up.
Didn't even know I knew marine hand signals.
But really- as the voice of your vagina I am BEGGING you to do it. If not for yourself than for your poor innocent puss
oh I'm washing fake blood out of my bra.
I NEED to hang out with you more
He's slurring his text. I didn't think that was possible.
My vagina has made plenty life decisions and I would like to point out very few if not any of them were in my favor.
He was super adorable, like I wanna pinch his cheeks while I fuck him...
To be clear you just said "I'll give you a baby" as a sext?
He sent me a pic of his coffee mug to be like "I'm having coffee too.” \nImagine that. Morning coffee. In your boring ass mug. Dick pic or gtfo.
Randomize
