I want to get so wasted that I make middle aged irish men look like mormon girls
she said she was gay. i said prove it. she said "ok i wont fuck you"
I see you've set aside this special time to humiliate yourself in public.
I wish you'd make everyone's lives easier and do him already. Then we can get rid of him.
Dude she pregamed for her sorority's philanthropy.
I thi k this dude I fcken showed up to the bar in a raisins shirts. I thought I was better than that. Fuckkkk.
THE ALMIGHTY HAS FALLEN DRUNKENLY OFF HIS HIGH HORSE AND INTO HOLLY'S VAGINA
Just cleaned someone else's sperm off of my bedroom wall. Never throwing a house party again.
You were walking away to pee and as you were undoing your belt you looked at me and said "the belt is off. the game is on. Remever that."
Well it ended with everyone taking a bite out of a raw potato and a girl crying because her boyfriend wouldn't bring her any grape juice. So yeah...I'd say the night was a success.
I'm at an awkward stage of not being able to tell if I wanna keep having fun or if I need to die in bed
Woke up behind one of the fraternity brothers houses in the grass wearing a guinness hat and aviators hugging a 30 rack box with a zonie on my chest next to a campfire.
Just read the 12 signs you're a horrible roommate post and fucking in your roommate's bed wasn't on the list, so I'm a pretty awesome roommate.
Please tell me I didn't send you a dick pic in the middle of Peter Pan..
In other news, I’ve officially fucked a grandpa.
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