Eating a girl out that was just in the ocean does not make her taste like saltwater taffy
Your noise violation report contains the word "five-some"...wtf happened in here?
I can't believe I'm wasting this thong on a guy in a sweater vest.
fat chick, vomit on the dog, and three unidentifiable pills in my ear. all in the same ear. what the hell happened after the guests showed up?
He got cut off by the bartender. So he kept buying people drinks of they would i get him a drink. Before you know it him and 8 people were outside the bat trying to get people. To by them drinks
guy next to me on the train just pulled out two bottles of gin and a block of cheddar. is slowly making his way through all of them.
You called me a pussy and continued to eat an entire jar of peanut butter with only your hand.
Is 28 too old to get fingered in Centennial Park? Asking for a friend.
He got hotter. I'm offended on behalf of the rest of our graduating year.
should we try and roll a cross joint since its good friday? you know, for jesus
Just did. I played that shit out so casual I deserve an Oscar. Or am Emmy, or whatever the fuck you get for acting like a boss
before i could order beers she was on stage 69ing with a stripper
I made him dinner in just his cowboy hat and my boots after we did it...you should see his face :)
Not having a reliable dick in is getting expensive. I’ve had to replace 3 vibrators since Mike and I split up
It’s the universal cock block of this decade
FUCK THE COCKBLOCK 19
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