Fyi: he's overweight and balding. My biological clock is ticking so loud I can't hear the TV.
Why does everyone think all I do is drink? I go to class on wednesdays
The one night I bring a girl home you leave the footloose soundtrack playing.
it took me about 5 minutes before I knew it was in her ass. i thought the first time would be a bit more special
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the semester is winding down: time to procrastinate by googling cheap keg options
just hang any plant up and call it mistletoe.
so i think im going to actually use my calories on food today instead of beer.
After a valiant attempt at golf, I think it's time for Tiger to go back to doing what he does best- having sex w/ blond, white women.
He was sitting cross legged outside his tent repeatedly hitting the ground with a hammer and shouting 'this.is.a.good.idea.'
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I dont think punching her boob is the type of reverse psychology that will get her to blow you.
Are you alive?
I googled "I don't want to vomit anymore," and "how to rip out your uvula," at 9 am this morning, but I'm still here. Uvula and all.
He went to 7/11 first and came back with condoms and a banana "in case we get hungry"
He eats ass but won’t hold open doors. My kinda guy.
Chivalry really is dead.
Definitely didn't just make out with a guy the same height as me just because we wanted to see what it would be like to not have to reach up....
DID YOU OR DID YOU NOT, PEE IN MY FUCKING TRASHCAN?!
Randomize