So apparently when I roll on X I find 'dick ina box' not only hilarious but also sexually arousing.
I bet you think you're really funny for switching my line of coke with a line of protein powder.
no they seem fine, they're doing push ups and waiting for a charging toy helicopter
You were sad because he was "taking it out on the plant"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
currently shading my boobs to make it look like i have mass cleavage...thanks art school
My building was evacuated who wants to quake and bake
your ex girlfriend just barged in my house, drunk, mumbled something about "car strip", and put a huge hole in my drywall with her head.
I know that was a dream because I woke up and there was no pizza
The hookers weren't a dream get tested
How do we turn this unicorn pinata into a bong?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Based on your 5AM twitter activity I gather you found MORE FREE COKE??
Omg this place. I'm at a neighborhood party. My mom has kissed two other moms. Where am I
rest in peace liver.
It was nice having you occupy space in my body that could be holding beer n chicken.
that's going in my livers obituary.
Sexting my TA in lecture = awesome
She can't take shots?!? Literally if I could list that as a skill on a resume I would
Just find a separated / divorcing man. They’re too upset to fall in love, too helpless to be alone and too horny to think straight. Smile at him the right way and he’ll be thrilled to be with a sexy younger woman!
Randomize