I thought smoking would make her look better, but all it did was enlighten me to her snaggletooth
Sounds like a blessing in disguise
And people are going to start dressing like that in public, it's just ridiculous, the goths and now the GAGAs
He drunk dialed T-Mobile at 3am and talked to them for 45 minutes and got his phone bill lowered from $80 to $60... Best drunk dial ever.
And if not, hey- I've never had a restraining order before, so that will be cool
It could be our claim to fame
Done. I'll pack a cooler.
It's too hard to jack off and hold an ipad at the same time
I got an MIP via FUCKING HELICOPTER. Tuscaloosa police either have nothing to do or too many resources.
Dude. The only thing that I use less than my dick is my tennis racket. We need to play.
I had to physically pry the rocks out of your hands so you wouldn't throw them at the guy with the cowboy hat. You probably would've missed anyways.
I learned so much about myself in that shower.
Get here, there are important joints to be smoked and pies to be eaten
Mostly because I hate my job and a have a photogenic penis.
I swear to god, my hangover cure is a green tea and a 15 minute twerkout. works every time
I have a rash on my arm from the cat litter. Think the cat will be mad that I peed in its box?
Yeah you'd pretty much be ruined if you broke up with a guy like that and then had to return to the dating pool
So, 'head before the store' turned into a fuck fest, & that's how I ended up at the grocery store smelling like a cum farm on Black Friday. How's your weekend?
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