i was just at lovers lane looking for gifts for a bachelorette party.....with my mom
Anything that's based on a blow job I'm in favor of.
So, halfway through sex he stops and starts crying. He said he's worried god hates him for all his bad decisions...think he meant to imply I was one of them...
you kept typing in answers.com, why are the state police calling my house, expecting an answer
so, not only did she give him head while i was asleep next to them, apparently, it was bad head...
Are you serious?
yeah... as often as she does that, you'd think she'd be good at it...
I wonder if he has realized that I have poured all if those shots he bought into the tip jar
WE'RE FINALLY ADMITTING THAT WE DESPERATELY WANT TO SCREW EACH OTHER. THIS IS WHAT PROGRESS FEELS
SOS. HE HAS PASSED OUT AND IS LYING ON TOP OF ME. HE IS STILL INSIDE. HELP
If you're staying here tonight, you need to promise me you won't make another bonfire in the lounge room. My girl is still pissed about that.
direct quote from andrew "you know i can't hear when i drink whiskey"
thank you for being a reason not to completely check out of my life and start sleeping all day, crying all night, and living off vodka acquired through credit card debt
u kept repeating to itself "hot cheetos and nacho cheese sauce.."
P.s. I loved that your balls smelled like coconut
I just got CPR certified, don't make me need these skills so soon
She stripped naked and ran around the outside of the house while I stood by the tent holding her clothes shouting "come back" because I was too drunk to chase her. This is why we can't have nice things.
Randomize
