girl in front of me in lecture is looking up on ask.com about chlamydia.
i made it my goal to pee in the sink of every apartment we went to last night. i didnt use the toilet once
After Sake bombs he tried to puke into an alluminum beer bottle and shot vomit streaks in a perfect V out the sides of his mouth and hit BOTH girls he had bought drinks for that night. He was like an Icon of Cock-blocking yourself.
Totalylr drunk. Coveredc in cryola marker. Loving it. Straight men everywhere. Don't be surprises when I'm pregbat romorrowwwww
That's fun. I just masturbated and I swear my vagina creaked.
There was a reason God said "Let there be titties" on the Fifth Day.
We decided this year instead of not participating in Halloween at all we are going to hand out free beers to the parents.
I threw up outside of a cab while waiting in a drive thru Mexican line while others who i don't know watched from their cars while they ate. Dinner and a show.
Question: If I got in a car accident and lost my memory of us, would you work your way back just so we could be fuck buddies again?
I'm watching The Vow and just need to know that I'm loved in some way
Me and my bruised tit have to wake up at 4 AM.
So my mom wants to hear about my weekend. How do I make licking cupcake frosting off your face while high not sound like just that?
Just responding to the most professional request I've ever gotten to get shitfaced.
Never admit to being cold at those things. That is how you end up waking up the next morning naked under animal pelts... or so I have heard.
I'm reading 50 shades of grey and masturbating while he's doing insulation downstairs. Maybe I can get him to bring me a sandwich
Did you really think putting a napkin over your head would make you giving him a bj less obvious?
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