Paul doesn't remember going to the bar and slept on someone's porch...doesn't know whose porch...maybe near Howard U.
how do you tell a roommate that having sex on your bottom bunk is not appropriate even if she has a top bunk that's hard to climb to?
just saw an advertisement for the rock in the tooth fairy...can you say rock bottom?
Dude. No way. She insults the term butterface. She's a butternothing.
I don't think I have ever puked up that much free breakfast in my life...thank god for Nickle Beers.
So I'm up to masturbating three times a day, drunk textin my ex, not doing any hw and I've failed half of my tests so far
Sounds better than last semester
I have a challenge for you: find out where you are. you will receive Taco Bell if you succeed
So, seriously. How does it feel to know that you're riding a cock that was in kindergarten when you were going to prom?
That girl definitely just ate a hot dog and stared straight in to my eyes.
My brother and I have had one conversation in the past like 3 weeks and it was about what it would be like as a sentient butt plug
SO EXCITED ABOUT STRING CHEESE RIGHT NOW
Just walked past the field playing Jesus music with a fanny pack full of condoms and beer. Happy Sunday.
a guy just skateboarded past my window in a bunny suit while chased by a dog walker
Let's take a shot for every time we've said "I don't want to get that drunk tonight"
So I had this brilliant idea that I would sleep in all sorts of sweatpants and sweatshirts... Apparently I thought I could "sweat" off the drunk in my sleep and that it would make me feel better when I woke up
Randomize
