Just made ouyt with a dude on the real wporld...I said I dont want my face blired out
i wonder if i could find a boyfriend who would call me big papa
sure if you go to prison
And then a tiny penis fell out of my purse
The last shot i remember taking was toasted to "love, sex, and magic". Needless to say I was 0 for 3 on that toast for the night.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
there's a guy on campus handing out business cards. you pay him to see if your girlfriend will cheat. the company name is "tying up loose ends"
can we meet up so i can piece together the end of my night? for instance, did i jump or fall into a plant?
Ya bro it was wild. Hey, is latex digestible?
You'd think the dry cleaners next door would be less judgmental for as much business as my theme parties bring them.
Haha I haven't even had my interview yet and I'm already trying to fuck my way to the top. 'Merica.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm so happy I'm only on my second drink. That would have been the best idea ever if I was on my fifth.
Spotted: shirtless guy wearing cut-off hot shorts, 1 cowboy boot and a sombrero puking in a bush while his friend yelled 'stop being a bitch" from the sidewalk'. Happy 4th of July 'merica!
So your brother is gay after all... Just caught him making out with my brother... Apparently he's gay too
You need to somehow incorporate the phrase "these hoes ain't loyal" into your best man speech.
I guarantee you he will only fuck with old bitches from now on
TSA doesn’t allow handcuffs in carryon bags. Super fun they confiscated them in front of my boss and coworker.
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