Reflecting on last night, I'm not sure if making out with a 43 y/o married woman at Bernie's after the Cubs game was my best life decision...
I have on cowboy boots and a ten gallon hat. I'd say I'm a little past tipsy
i no longer even have beer goggles. i'm pretty sure i blacked out and had beer lasik.
Have your arms or hands ever gone numb after drinking too much?
Wtf did you do last night?
I'm not sure I can continue to condone our having sex in all of your friends' beds
It's Valentine's Day, I figure for sure we'll have sex today, right? Wrong. I tried unsuccessfully for like an hour to get him to fuck me. Now he's asleep and I'm on my way to join the public library.
He apologized for cumming on my leg, but not for ghosting me for 3 weeks before :(
I'm going to need to invest in some knee pads if I keep having nights like tonight
Woke up naked with a post-it that said "don't ask questions" on my ass...i know im not supposed to ask but uhm what did I do?
I keep worrying the police are going to come looking for us.
For which one? Starting a fire on my porch or having sex on my porch?
Why does 10AM Spanish always turn into a discussion about my sex life?
He screamed, "Let there be light!" when he came
I'm literally trying to cool beer down right now in my car by putting it on my floor and blasting cold air on it
Did I ever tell you what happened that night after he ran you over?
I don't know what it is about this quarantine, but I have never written this much smutty fanfic in my life and I am loving it!
Randomize
