just do it
fine only cuz shes asian
Are you drinking alone?
no, i'm watching house
That doesn't count.
wtf, then i'm always alone
I had to get a ride home from that girl that slept with 3/4 of the band
She said as long as i don't wake her up she doesn't care what hole i use.
Got yourself a keeper right there.
Whats the glycemic index on semen?
You don't think I'm weird or immature right?
No I think it's cute we had sex on your Bob the Builder sheets
Did Kevin really put his bar tab under the name Hercules last night?
UPDATE: WE WILL BE HITTING THE BATMAN PINATA WITH A SWORD
I can't believe I've come to a point in my life where sex for a birthday present is acceptable
Oh that's what I forgot last night.. To make out with her.
So both cops helped talk her into coming back into the bar and doing a shot with me. The main argument being, "a bar is no place to be sober!"
I mayyyyy have moaned a name that wasn't his
A stripper choked me last night. Then I choked her. Now we're going on a date this Saturday.
By the time I realized I was watching a Danish porno with muppets it was already too late
I would give away three of my own ribs to be able to eat myself out.
...ew
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