Bitch is talking to much, howd u ever get her 2 shut up?
It's worth it.
How worth it?
Back door worth it
Awkward medical moment of the day: A very obese girl with a disorder that literally makes her hit herself punched herself in the face. Literally. While screaming 'MCDONALDS MONEY'. Right. Beside. Me.
you traded sex for a burrito?
you called me at 4 am to tell me you found the cracker barrel location where we'll have lunch next week
you never know, standards drop, they turn gay, shit happens.
i just got cum up my nose. i would have expected more from the captain of the men's lacrosse team
Actions speak louder than pants.
sorry he hasn't talked to me since the surprise salvia incident...
Dude made his own urinal by punching a hole in the wall and pissing in it rather than waiting in line. That is the stuff of legends.
i was really disappointed no one would drink beer from our cleavage last night except for us
You gave me your shirt to use as a napkin every time I spilled beer on myself. Before we went to the bar.
you should probably know that there's a naked dude in your window
i wouldn't normally say anything but you seem to not be there
I need to stop getting in the car with my dad when im rolling balls. I think he's starting to notice my eyes aren't usually completely pupil
You fist bumped my dick last night saying good game. That you'll be back for the 2nd game...
Ha! Just garden hosed my vag and thought of you.
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